Turning away search engines at the first opportunity
Do you want to suffer in the Search Engine rankings? Not bothered that your competitors outrank you by a factor of 50? Do you want to keep that pesky Googlebot well and truly out of your site (after all it does eat an awful lot of unnecessary bandwidth)?
Here’s how:
First you need a splash page. The less content you put on this, the better - ideally it will just be your company’s logo or maybe some whizzo Flash animation. Whatever you do don’t hyperlink this graphic, don’t make it clickable - just leave it sat on the page.
Next - to get your human visitors past the splash page (after they’ve spent a suitable amount of time admiring your graphic/flash animation), you need to setup some javascript that redirects the users browser on to your real homepage. What you need to do next is cater for javascript disabled clients. Stick a META tag in the head of your page something like this:
<META HTTP-EQUIV="Refresh" CONTENT="5; URL=myrealhomepage.htm" />
This will take care of those awkward users that don’t have javascript (or have it turned off)
An additional step you can do here is make sure that anyone that links to your site, links to the root url and therefore the splash page. Don’t have them link to internal site pages because those pesky bots might get in through the back door!
What you’ve managed to do here is successfully keep out most search engine bots - your site will most likely not get indexed. The splash page will get indexed, but we specifically made sure that there was no indexable content on it so it won’t rank very highly at all. Most (if not all) bots will not interpret javascript and none will follow the instructions in the META tag. As far as search engines are concerned, you have a 1 page website with no valuable content to index!
You can now wallow happily in the depths of page 243 in the search engine rankings 
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